i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
