if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
