Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
So vagazzling was a success
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
