drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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