i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
