i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
