Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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