pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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