Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
pop tarts are not kleenex
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
