in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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