Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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