Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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