that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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