so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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