would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
