what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
