My friends, they love my intelligence
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
