I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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