i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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