Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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