I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
