Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
