YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
