Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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