yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
