So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
