I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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