He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
