She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize
