We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
