super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
