her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
