Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
