you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize