Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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