I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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