Swine flu. Run for my life!
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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