for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
