She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize