dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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