Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
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