apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
she told me i tasted like america
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
