Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
