I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
