why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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