just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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