I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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