why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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