My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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