After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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