if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
