are you so shy because you have an std?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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