She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
this will be a night to untag.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
