operation harelip BJ is a go
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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