I'm passing your future prison.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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