your thong is hanging out like whoa
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
