I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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