I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
