i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
