he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
