Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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