i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
