I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
