xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
